Remember that TV show from the 80's called "My Two Dads?" The basic story line is a girl's mother dies and she doesn't know which of 2 men are the father of her daughter - played by Staci Keanan. The daughter meets the dads, they all decide to live together (as the men have no qualms about their manly orientation) and heartfelt hilarity ensues. It's a tale of love, family and the power of a dad in a girl's life...well, I have MULTIPLE dads. One might say I have a plethora of them. Both official ones and honorary ones as well as ones that take a role akin to a father in my life. So in honor of FATHER'S DAY 2011, I am going to pay homage to each dad in my life.
DAD #1 (aka BioDad)
I struggled with which dad to cover first, but it makes sense to start with the one that contributed to 1/2 my DNA. I refer to him as my "bio-dad" or by his first name, Scott. Scott and my mother were in high school together in the 70's. Along with parties and rebellion, my mother and Scott ALSO got me. Scott found out about me when I was a little older - as will be explained in "DAD #2" - and yadda yadda yadda, he lost touch with me. WELL, many moons later, a younger me (23) sent out letters to anyone matching Scott's last name. Long story short - I found my sister and then the whole family.
Out of this reunion, I got three more sibling, a great step-mom and a relationship with Scott. According to my husband, I also got much of my outward appearance from this side of my genetic pool - including my freckles and red-tinted brown hair. My boys also call Scott "Grandpa Scott" and his wife "Grandma Renae." I have to say that from Scott I have learned that out of struggle comes great things, and that sarcasm is alive and well (and fluent in my genes).
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY SCOTT - my bio-dad!
DAD #2 (also known as just "Dad")
Gary, for all intents and purposes, IS my dad. He married my mother when I was 4 back in the simple times of the early 80's. With my mom, he brought into this world my 2 sisters, and until I met Scott's family, the only sibling I ever thought I had. Dad - as I have and always will call him - loves music, family and enjoying life. He's a big kid and occasionally has a short and blunt temper. Growing up, I learned a love of music and family from him. Along with my uncles (my mother's brothers), he's sit up late on Saturday nights singing everything from "Hotel California" to "Rocky Raccoon" to the latest from ZZ Top. He even wrote a song that my sisters and I know the lyrics to to this day.
Dad and I haven't always agreed, and I sometimes think he still sees me as a 12-year old, but he has always been proud of me and proud to let everyone know this fact. Even though my parents divorced almost 10 years ago, my dad tries to check up on me and the boys. my sons call him "Papa" and LOVE going to his cabin. In fact, this Father's Day Weekend, that's where Noah is with my sisters and their kids. My dad is leaving the cabin to his grandkids - and I know they will be excited when the meaning of this actually sinks in.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!
DAD #3 (aka Donald Arthur Fresen - honorary father)
In my life, I have met MANY people. Most of the best people I know, and the longest relationships I have, come from my many community theater shows I have had the good fortune to be part of in my life. Dad #3 comes from this amazing group of people. Don met me shortly before I turned 16 when I was cast as the youngest actor in Godspell. My mother loved him as did I. The rule became "if Don's going to be there, then that's just fine." Don always looked out for me and made sure that I wasn't involved in any of the possibly "questionable behavior" at cast parties, overnight trips, late night food runs after rehearsals, etc. I truly believe if I told my mother and father that I was going to go storm city hall and burn flags in effigy, as long as I said Don was going to be there, all was well. Don was a LARGE influence in who I am today, and I cherish his insight and friendship. Don and others helped me be the person I am and love life and its many differences.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DON!
DAD #4 (aka Melvin J Los - the "father in law")
Ok, so you can pick your husband, but you can't pick your in-laws. I have hear horror stories about "evil mother-in-laws" and "freakish father-in-laws." I am SUPER lucky - I got great in-laws from the parents on down. When I was in my senior year of high school and needing air to clear my head, Melvin and Carol let me move into their basement. Ok, so Jake was SUPPOSED to sleep on the couch and me in the bed - but come on...hormonal teens in the same house...that's physically impossible to pull off. (I WILL INSIST that Mel and Carol understand that while we may have slept together occasionally, we never actually SLEPT together. That was a privilege saved for our wedding - and no, I am not a prude...) Still, they were gracious and heck, once Mel even walked in on Jake and I making out and he MAY have caught a glimpse of my goodies...so I think that's actually the real reason he likes me (ha ha ha).
From Mel I have learned about the true meaning of respect and stability. He has been there for us always, and is always willing to lend a hand. While all the "Grandpas" play with my boys, Mel PLAYS with my boys like he, too, is a 3 year old. Wrestling, baseball, goofing around, everything. Not bad for a man in his 60's. Mel always asks how I am and listens to the answers. He is great to joke around with, and even was a fairly good partner at Adult Weekend during ladder golf...though I was distraught to learn that he only got good after drinking a few beers..which was AFTER the tournament - next time suck down some Miller BEFORE we start the games!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, MELVIN J!
DAD #5 (aka Joe - mom's Joe)
Mom's Joe is a quiet guy. He has many hermit-habits, and shies away from socially crowded situations. I know I challenge his thoughts a lot, but he takes it in stride. I consider Joe a "dad" in a way because he is always willing to help out Jake and I. He is truly someone we can look to for advice, help and support. No matter what the future holds, I know Joe will always want to be considered part of our lives and that of our kids. The boys call him "Papa Joe" taking lead from their older cousin, Olli.
So, even though Joe is silent, he's a loud whisper in our lives, and that is why he makes this list of the men in my life who are amazing "dads."
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, JOE!
DAD #6 (aka my husband - Jake)
Now to the dad who isn't MY dad, but is the most amazing dad I know. Jake once said to me, "I want to have a son who can look up to me as I look up to my dad. I want to feel that love and pride for my child." I think he'll get his wish. We have two sons who love their daddy so very much. He plays with them daily, and never finds them to be a burden or a chore. He is right there with diaper changes, laundry and discipline. Our sons will not only learn love, compassion and respect from Jake, but how to be a good man. My only wish is that they are the same man at their core as their father. Jake would do anything for his family and just seeing his face light up when he sees the boys reminds me that he was truly meant to be a dad.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, MY DEAREST LOVE!
...and Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Remember, mom's are amazing, but dad's can teach things to their kids that a mother cannot though she will try. Be a good dad - not just a presence in the house - a presence in the lives of your children from the moment that child opens its eyes to see you. Men get a stigma thrust upon them of stoic strength, but loving your kids and showing them is not weakness...in fact, it's the pinnacle of strength.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
