Options...we are obsessed with them!

In today's materialistic society of individuals trying to be part of the group but stand out, there are just too many options. What I mean is you can now trick out anything from your car to your shoes to yes, even your braces. Customization is key always. We want what the Jones' have, but we want it different enough to be similar but better...

Options are part of life as well. You can take road A or road B; or even road C if A and B are not to your liking. Do you go to college or straight to a job? Do you get a Big Mac or a sub? Do you buy import or American? Do you marry and have kids or have kids and marry? Tatoo or piercing? Both? CHOOSE CHOOSE CHOOSE...but choose wisely. With every decision comes consequences; good or bad. Yeah, the latest celeb haircut looks great on the 6 foot blond amazon goddess, but on your average mid-western melon it's a travesty. So the next choice is wig or dye job?

Making endless decisions is part of life, and as adults, we are faced with an endless stream of them from the moment we wake up (go to work or go back to sleep?) to the moment we go to sleep (sleep or sex? - side note, as a parent of 2 small kids, sleep wins 95% of the time). Our choices are always complex and we think we know the outcomes, but more times than not, we are surprised. This compounds once you add children...because now you have to make decisions for a person who YOU made, and who relies on YOU...and you don't want the choices to end up as long therapy sessions at the age of 40 when your now grown up baby thinks their inability to commit stems from the time you couldn't choose between Bambi and Cinderella so you said "well, let's just have a quite night and read the CAT IN THE HAT."

The issue of choice compounds even further when your child has a developmental issue - like my little man and his inability to hear. NOW I am faced with ETHICAL choices...should he get implants or be deaf and choose himself when he's older? Should I go with implant brand A that is waterproof, but brand B has better sound? Do you get one or two implants? Do you start out with sign language or lip reading? Shall your child be a talker or a signer? Do you have insurance to cover this or do you have to wait? Can you afford the copays? BLAH BLAH BLAH....

For an issue concerning a deaf child, there's a lot of noise.

To help alleviate the clutter, we have enrolled in our county's BIRTH TO 3 program which aims to help with these decisions. We will also be visiting an ENT for a second opinion and meet with audiologists and otolaryngologists (say THAT 10 times fast). Each groups will try to help us make decisions...but in the end, it's our choice as parents. What path to take? What is right? What is ethical?

SO when you are 75 and your 40 year old child looks at their life, will they be happy with what you have done for them? As a child myself, the answer isn't always clear. Parents mean well. I just pray my son knows that.

Besides - we can always trick out the implants!

Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks...

You know that scene in Forrest Gump where Jenny and Forrest return to her childhood home and she begins to toss rocks at the house, breaking the windows. She does this to take a small amount of revenge on a father who sexually abused her and destroyed her life. After tossing several rocks, she collapses to the ground and cries. Forrest sums up the experience by saying, "I guess sometimes there just aren't enough rocks."
This is my feeling when it comes to the latest news on my new baby.

Little "Goober" failed his hearing test right after birth. My first child had the same issue, but passed his follow up hearing test with flying colors. I assumed, silly me, that Goober would be the same way. Imagine my dismay when the audiologist said in no uncertain terms, "he has severe to profound hearing loss and is a candidate for cochlear implants."

Toss rock #1.

So my child is deaf? Really? You have a baby and want that little person to be perfect, but here's the thing, it doesn't always work out that way.

Toss rock #2.

I know - it could be WAY worse. He could be missing limbs or blind or have cancer or a list of other atrocities that affect the young in the world. I know this, but those who say "it could be worse" aren't feeling the helplessness and anxiety I am about my little boy who may face surgery in a few months to allow him to hear his mother's voice. Let me at least be upset about this.

Toss rock #3.

SO the rocks are tossed. I haven't improved the situation and all I get is the slight satisfaction that comes with the mental release of writing down your unhappiness. I will now have to let my "mental Forrest Gump" pick me up, brush me off, and point out that there are never enough rocks. So I'll have to stop tossing them, and move on.

So now what? We have an appointment with Goober's pediatrician on Friday to go over the results of the test as the audiologist used words that I had to keep looking up. Then we have to go for a second opinion. Next is a series of hearing aid trials that will then lead to recommendations for the cochlear implants - these can be installed (like he's a car or something) by the time he's one. Studies show that, as we discovered this so early, he'll have a normal life with normal speech patterns and communication abilities. Until then though, it's going to be a long road. We'll have to learn signs to communicate with my baby. My oldest will be wonderful at this as he's already a big helper. My husband is also strong and right there ready to work at this. We can do this and will. Little Goober will be fine and it's just a bump along the way...

My only sadness as this journey starts...little Goober doesn't know the sound of his mommy's voice.

Where's a rock when you need one?